Multiplying The Blessings
When Rosie Ponifasio-Hughes found out she was having twins, she made a point of connecting with as many Health New Zealand | Te Whatu Ora services as possible while pregnant. Her midwife recommended the drop-in Lactation Consultant Centre, Te Puawai Ora Whangārei, to see Helen Wellington. Here she visited twice before the babies even arrived, to get some reassurance and advice.
“I remember sitting on Helen's couch, with my toddler and pregnant belly having a big cry, stressing about how I was going to feed twins. It was a massive learning curve with our first-born Hughie, so I was quite anxious about attempting to feed twins,” Rosie says. 
"Helen's advice was excellent, and I went on to exclusively feed the twins for over two years. They were so reassuring and supportive.”
The Monday coffee groups at Te Puawai Ora and free wahakura weaving workshops are also such an amazing resource, she says, noting that the ladies that run it are incredible.
“I’d encourage anyone struggling away quietly at home to reach out in a way that’s comfortable for you, there really is a wealth of support and advice available,” she says.
Eight years ago, however, there was no formal 'multiple birth club' or ‘twin group’ here in Whangārei when the couple welcomed their twins Asher and Melani, so after it was suggested to organise a monthly get together, Rosie and her husband Ben Ponifasio, grabbed that opportunity with both hands.
“I know I gained so much just from being around others who knew the journey we were on and felt that if we could offer help or make things a wee bit easier for the next generation of multiples whānau, then that would be a lovely thing,” she says.
The couple started with a monthly coffee group and then things slowly expanded from there.
Helen from Te Puawai Ora acknowledges that Rosie is an amazing networker supporting new māmā, partners and whānau who come through their childbirth classes.
“Rosie and her partner Ben also have our lending library in their basement at home - cots, prams, bassinette, clothes, you name it, it's there. They are one incredible whānau, and it is all voluntary,” Helen says.
After they had their twins, the couple found out quite early on that borrowing baby gear was far better than buying - not just because of the double or triple expense, but also because most items are often only used for a small window of time, and then parents are stuck trying to sell two or three highchairs or bulky exersaucers.
“My husband and I joke that the only reason the lending library got started was because we were too exhausted to list all the items on Trade Me,” she laughs.
Their free lending library has been built entirely upon donated items. They have everything from a big tub of prem-sized clothing, jolly jumpers, twin specific breast-feeding pillows, snap and go’s (that fit 2 capsules) prams, baby carriers, moses baskets, highchairs to bedding.
The Facebook group and lending library kicked off when their twins were about one. They now have a Facebook group 'Multiples Whangārei & Northland' full of Multiple birth whānau between Wellsford and Cape Reinga who are welcome to join.
“We have a photo album of lending library items that are available to borrow in our Facebook group, and people simply comment on the item they’d like to borrow and then flick me a message. Then I either bring the items to the coffee group to pass on, or people can pick them up. We even deliver if families are local, as we more than understand the hassle of getting out the house while working around baby's nap times,” says Rosie.
The logistics of even leaving the house are many times more complicated with multiple babies, and if you’re without family support, have older children also, or are flying solo with parenting, then these things can quickly add up to not managing to leave the house for weeks at a time.
“I’ve delivered more prem clothing, chocolate, coffee and feeding pillows up to the Whangārei Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU) than I can count, and we’ve even managed to coordinate delivery of some items right up to the Far North using our Facebook group members as delivery drivers in stages. I think it’s the little things that mean the most – connecting with family members when they’re at their most vulnerable. Hopefully offering some supportive words and being helpful."
Rosie importantly adds, what a special blessing multiples are – double the smiles, giggles and silliness.
“The rareness of being a twin or triplet parent is really bonding, and if you can parent twins or triplets, you really can handle anything,” she says.
“We’ve met so many incredible families and made friends for life and there’s nothing more special than looking around at coffee group at all the beautiful tamariki at various stages of cuteness (and chaos) and realising, we really are stronger together.”
The multiple birth group usually runs on the 2nd Friday of each month 10am until midday at Te Puawai Ora, 18 Commerce Street Whangarei.
Their next multiple birth group get together, to celebrate Multiples Awareness Week, is on 16 March 10am - 1pm at the Catholic Parish of Whangārei - St Francis Xavier, 63 Park Ave Whangārei.
Haere Mai, pop over and join Multiples Whangārei(external link) & Northland on Facebook, or Whangārei Childbirth Education Classes to find out more about coffee group dates and times.
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